Ask Vanessa Cardenas
Your Digital Relationship Support
Private, on-demand guidance for the moments that test everything.
Created by Vanessa Cardenas, Relationship Reset Expert, named Best Relationship Coach in Westchester County 2025.
Ask Vanessa offers immediate digital support when you need stability in the moment.
If you already know you need personalized, human guidance, skip right to a one-on-one session with me.
What Ask Vanessa Is
Ask Vanessa is a digital representation of my work that offers grounded, practical support for when you need guidance but can’t yet reach out for help.
It draws from my professional training, my own lived experience, two published books, over 100 articles, and transcripts from my talks and workshops, including my Oxford Talk that reached over 300K views in two months.
I built this so you would have a steady, judgment-free starting point when your chest is tight and an untrained internet stranger is telling you what to do.
Ask Vanessa gives you space to think clearly before reacting, and language to begin stabilizing your world again.
What Ask Vanessa Is Not
Ask Vanessa is not therapy or a replacement for human support. Technology can help steady you in the moment, but it cannot hold you with care, accountability, or presence.
At some point, you will need contact and guidance that fits you and your situation. When that time comes, I am here, human to human.
What You Receive
Access to a private digital advisor that offers calm, non-religious guidance for:
Betrayal recovery and rebuilding trust
Communication repair and emotional reconnection
Navigating sexless or emotionally distant marriages
Stabilizing after discovery of infidelity
You will receive clear, trauma-informed steps designed for long-term couples under real pressure.
Access Now
Private, Immediate, and Judgment-Free
Why I Hesitated to Create This
Almost a decade ago, I was that person awake at 3 a.m., eyes burning, body exhausted, heart torn.
I was so done with the judgment. Mine and everyone else’s.
The internet was loud. Strangers had opinions, but something was missing...depth, nuance, understanding.
I didn’t want another fight about whether I should “leave his cheating ass.”
I wanted to understand what happened, and whether rebuilding was even possible.
What finally helped was a therapist, a coach, and a small local support group that offered grounded, compassionate truth. That’s when I began to heal, and my husband and I began to rebuild from the ground up. We’re still married today because both of us chose to do the work.
Support This Work: Angel Investors
Ask Vanessa exists so anyone can find steady, responsible guidance during hard relationship moments. If this resource helped you and you want to fund human care for someone who cannot afford it, you can contribute. Your gift supports sessions, tools, and trauma-informed resources for individuals and couples during hard relationship moments.
Your contribution is processed via PayPal. Contributions support services and resources for clients in need.
Your contribution helps fund healing sessions and resources for those who need help now but cannot pay. Thank you for investing in hope and stability for another woman, man, or couple.
Disclaimer: All information provided by Vanessa Cardenas and the Ask Vanessa digital resource is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or provide medical or psychological advice.
If you are experiencing distress, thoughts of harm, or a mental health emergency, contact a licensed therapist or call your local crisis helpline. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for immediate support.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this only for late night help or can I use it anytime?
Anytime. It shines at 3am when your mind is racing. Ask one focused question and get one calm, practical step you can take now..
Is this private?
Yes. Your email is used to send your link and add you to Vanessa’s newsletter. Unsubscribe anytime. Do not share names or identifying details in your questions.
Is this therapy?
No. This is educational relationship guidance. Vanessa Cardenas provides relationship coaching and guidance. This is not a substitute for therapy or licensed mental health services. Her extensive training and credentials can be found at www.UnderstandingEar.com
Is it non religious and trauma informed?
Yes. Guidance is practical, non religious, and trauma informed. Your choices are respected.
Who is this for?
Women, men, and long-term couples facing betrayal, sexless seasons, emotional distance, communication breakdowns, or the brink of divorce.
What if I don't feel safe?
If there is abuse, coercion, stalking, danger, suicidal thoughts, or you feel unsafe. Contact local authorities or a crisis hotline in your region.
Will I be added to the newsletter?
Yes. You will receive your link and occasional helpful emails. Unsubscribe anytime.
How are contributions used?
Contributions fund subsidized sessions, stabilization resources, and access to trauma-informed tools for individuals and couples facing betrayal, disconnection, or relationship breakdowns.
Is my contribution tax-deductible?
Contributions are not tax-deductible.
Will I receive updates about who I helped?
To protect client confidentiality, individual updates are not shared. I thank you on their behalf.
Sample Prompts for Ask Vanessa, Digital Representation of Vanessa Cardenas
What should I do after discovering an affair?
How do I calm betrayal shock right now?
What does apology and accountability sound like after betrayal?
Boundaries after cheating: give an example I can keep.
How do we handle ending contact with an affair partner safely?
We are in a sexless marriage. What is one first step this week to be closer?
I think I am being gaslit. How do I test reality?
We are empty nesters and drifting. What is one weekly ritual to reconnect?
How do I stop trickle truth and ask for full disclosure?
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